 | |
| photo: St. Peter's Episcopal Church San Pedro |
I have to say I didn't see much happening for the 1st 6 months or so. Life happened in the day to day. So in June I asked myself, "What am I doing asking God to help me trust him?" What if I did it the bold way and said, "God I trust you with this. I don't know what you're doing, but I trust you do."
So whenever something came up that I wanted to get my hands and mind involved with, I'd say to God, "I trust you God with this." I trust you with this day. I trust you with this relationship. I trust you with my job. I trust you with this 10 mile run. I trust you with my health. I trust you with my life. I trust you know what's going on because I don't.
And so it goes.
And little by little I began to trust. Not because I was asking for trust but because I said, "I trust." Whether I felt like I was trusting or not, I put it out there that I was trusting.
It's a little like doing my training runs on those hot summer mornings. The kind I love that are all thick with humidity and 90 degrees at 8 o'clock in the morning and the trails are a welcome place to run because of the shade. I didn't know if I could run the 8 miles on my training log that day. What would my feet feel like, what about my knees, how much pain when it was over? Well now I know there's nothing I like more than an 8 mile run. And so I began to trust that I'd get through that 8 mile run, and that 10 mile run and eventually the 13.1. (And my feet and knees felt fine. It was the summer skin heat rash that was painful!)
I can't say that I have the trust thing all cornered down. I'm not saying that there aren't times when I want to take it back and get my hands all dirty in the mud pie of it and that I make a decision on my own that doesn't feel like trust. There are mornings when I look in the mirror after a sleepless night of tossing and turning over something that left me puzzled or tears staining my brain. When that uncertainty crept in and I asked, "What am I doing in this?" It followed that, "I don't know what you're doing God, but I trust you that you do."
I've discovered my trust and faith is like my left hamstring, I know it's there, but I have to exercise it, tighten it on cue to feel it.
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. (Hebrews 11:1 MSG)
Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1 CEV)
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1 NLT)Happy New Year!
Seize the J
1 comment:
I like that -- instead of thinking about how to trust God or asking for the ability to trust just TRUST! Very simple, very fresh, very good! Thanks, Janet.
Post a Comment