You Lead Me Here

Scott Polk flickr image

You go before me

in all that I do.

You have already been

down

the path.

You're sending me.

Each season,

you prepare it.

When trees turn

you are here.

From green to

gold to

brown to

fall...

off.

You consider

everything.

You go before all.
To all:

who live on the earth,

to all:

who cry to you.

My bones

grow weak. 

I am so

weary.

And yet, and yet...

I am in hope

for

my heart is confident in you O God.

In lifted hands,

you are worthy of praise.

In lifted voice
high

over raging waters...
you are worthy of praise.

Another season: 

flashes of lightning,
on and off, fill the night sky.

You know your seasons.
You created them in the beginning.

You know your reasons and
your corrections.

You go before me.
My heart rejoices
that you know better than I.

 

When dew is on vine,
in morning bright

seek:
your word for the day.

On solid ground. Stand.

You go before me.

Sun shines,

ice is melted.
You go before me,
My life, guard.

Myself,

in your sanctuary.
Abundantly,

in your bountiful hand.

I created this psalm in a workshop led by Ray McGinnis, author of Journaling the Sacred. McGinnis created this exercise using phrases from the psalms that are highlighted in red.

I'll be leading this technique and 2 others in a journaling breakout session at the Express Your Faith Writer's Conference at Lutheran Church of Hope, August 20.

Try it. Write the phrases in red in your journal. Then connect the phrases with your thoughts, ideas and feelings. You're on your way to being a psalm maker!

Or...invite me to your group and I'll customize the phrases for you.

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For we are God’s masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

A Change of Season

2 years ago I was in a group of wanderers in the desert headed for the promised land in a class called Christ Life. During this life-changing class I met some of the deepest people I'll ever know and I can say, "I knew them then." One of those people is Sue. Sue and her husband Jim, are moving back to Denver in 2 weeks. Sue is one of those self-less people we learned about in Christ Life. Track A living in a Track B world.

One evening in class Sue was intensely taking notes from Dave's talk. I looked at her notes and thought, "Gee should I be getting this too?" Later when we were in our small group I asked her, "How is it that you get this?" Sue looked at Kathy, Trish, and me and said, "This is it for me. I have to get this now. There is no other way." Sue was inspirational in teaching about the fruits of the Spirit. And if it wasn't for Sue's inspiration, I wouldn't have ever memorized them: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Here are just a few of the self-less things Sue has done:

• filmed our phase 3 class giving our testimonies
• rescued a true church mouse from the parking lot at Hope
  (this mouse is famous on You Tube)
• shared her skybox at Wells Fargo Arena for Joyce Meyer and Anne Graham Lotz
• loaned me 3 books that changed my thinking: The Return of the Prodigal Son, Captivating, and Under the Overpass (the author is coming to Hope in August)
• gives to the Cookie Ministry and shot this video about the ministry
  
• went on to facilitate and lead a phase 3 class
• shot this video of the cross for Hope's sanctuary
• filmed a video of the homeless for Feed 1 Million and 40 Days of Community
• filmed and edited numerous videos at Hope
• loaned me a camera when I went to NY
• went to SonicFlood and Avalon concerts with me
• met me for coffee
• listened to me
• was always the 1st to say, "I'm in."

Sue is all about media and serves on the team at Hope. I'll miss seeing her behind the camera. I'll miss hearing Pastor Mike say, "Next slide Sue," and knowing that Sue is in control.

Sue gave our class a bookmark about sowing and reaping. I found it still in the pages of my phase 3 book. Here are the prophetic words: Every seed bears its fruit at a season later than when you planted it.

I have seen God's hand at work. Haven't you seen God raising people up to scatter them like seed in another land?

An affirmation to you Sue, from The Promised Land as you go Mile High: "Teach the world to do what you do. Demonstrate the way you interact with God. Let the world watch you believe and interact with God, so they can learn how to do it too." (pg. 169)

And as soon as the grain is ready, the farmer comes and harvests it with a sickle, for the harvest time has come. Mark 4:29

It is your season.

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The Rains Came Down and the Floods Came Up

These pictures were taken Wednesday, June 11. Praise Choir served a meal for the residents at the downtown YMCA because their power was going to be shut off later that evening. The river is a few feet from the Y.

Have you seen the movie An Inconvenient Truth? It's mind blowing how far back they can date the ice on earth and how the rising temperatures affect every living thing.

"I am giving you a sign of my covenant with you and with all living creatures, for all generations to come. I have placed my rainbow in the clouds. It is the sign of my covenant with you and with all the earth. Whenever I cover the sky with clouds and the rainbow appears, I will remember my promise to you and to all the animals that a flood will never again destroy all living beings." Genesis 9: 12-16

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The Magnetic Prophetic

Have you ever had someone speak a word to you that was prophetic? That wouldn't leave your thoughts? Every time you heard it you thought, there's that word again.

I'm not talking about a commencement speech, a paradigm, or even a paragraph. Just 1 word.

In the past few months I've been driving around with 1 prophetic word stuck on the back of my car.

A few months ago I did something out of my usual Saturday happenings and went to an art gallery exhibit of Bill Butler's. I knew of Bill and Ronja, his wife, from Hope, but had never met them. In humbleness, Bill talked about how he created and visioned art, how he walked the cross every day to the upper room that is his studio, how he used the blocks from the cross to depict the crucifixion, the stains like a blood wash. It was a magnetic and prophetic conversation.

Before I left he said he had a word for me. It was a magnetic bumper sticker and the word was SEEK.



Copyright 2008 Thomas Lift. All Rights Reserved.

Speaking that one word has made me think about my world, and the way I interact in it, differently.

SEEK:
to go to,
to go in search of,
to ask for,
to make an attempt,
to make a search or inquiry,
...
to be sought.

SEEK has passed through the pores of my brain every day since I received it.

The word that day was a gift, and well, it has made all the difference.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. Luke 12:29-31 (The Message)

And don't be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don't worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. SEEK the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. Luke 12:29-31 (NLT)

Seek the J

...oh I mean...hee hee

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J writing
The Thomas Lift project faith word magnets are:
Called
Arise
Shine
Beloved
Abide
Hope
Seek
Pure
Life
Trust
Selah

Which faith word describes where you are right now?

Which faith word describes where you want to be?

Which would you give to someone else?

If someone were to choose one for you, would it be different than the one you choose for yourself?

Faith word magnets are available for $4 at Solid Rock Resources at Lutheran Church of Hope. Collect them all!

Watch Bill create in this video. No words to describe it. Just watch!

His next exhibit is June 26-28 at Avenue Gallery in West Glen Town Center.

Bread of Life

I've been reading about spiritual disciplines (journaling, by the way, is one). As an exercise for the School of Listening Prayer, I fasted. Before doing it I asked God to show me my weaknesses. Ouch. A word of caution if you pray this. This prayer was answered within seconds and went on for several weeks. I've finally said, “I get it. I get it. Now help me out of my messes.”

The spiritual discipline I’ve been studying is confession and self-examination, "to surrender my weaknesses and faults to the forgiving love of Christ and intentionally desire and embrace practices that lead to transformation."

I have attachments to busyness and independence. Busyness, unfortunately, is where I get validation.

It does keep me in community and therefore humbled because I learn a lot from you and others. But busyness keeps my mind on the going nowhere treadmill. I'm not sure going nowhere, or somewhere for that matter, or accomplishing something, is the right goal or should even be a goal of a Christian. In other words, am I only serving because I will accomplish some human goal or that it will take me to some level? That is self serving. Not Christ serving. That's a goal of a human doing not a human being. Being busy is filling time. Busyness keeps me in the public eye. Busyness keeps me from being lonely and isolated, and I'm afraid of those because of anxiety and depression. Busyness seems to be about validation, which borders on pride.

Independence, and my attachment to it, was a complete surprise. I didn’t realize that it was an attachment.

I’m extremely comfortable doing things on my own, going places by myself. Walking through a door by myself isn’t one of those things I’m uncomfortable doing. It’s the norm. It’s probably more out of my comfort zone to walk through the door with others.

Recently someone told me he viewed me as strong and that made me wonder about strength. I was puzzled by that. Like, uh, what other way is there to be? My parents raised strong children and for that, I reflect back to God with gratitude. And I’ve learned to be strong because of circumstances, because of independence, and because there was no one around to rescue me out my situations, and no one could rescue me. I had to learn it on my own. Because of Him I am strong. In my rewritten paradigm from Christ Life class it is affirmed, “You are my strength. You are my source for love and joy.”

I asked God to show me my weaknesses. I know my strengths but my strengths turn out to also be some weaknesses.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it was with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty." Philippians 4:11-14

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Dream Works

One of my favorite Bible stories is about the dreamer Joseph. And Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is also one of my favorite Broadway shows.

"Go, go, go Joseph you know what they say
Hang on now Joseph you'll make it some day
Sha la la Joseph you're doing fine
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time."

I'm an insomniac. Have been for about 12 years. How do you become one too? You quit sleeping, but not because you want to. I went to a sleeping disorders clinic and they had a computer simulation test as part of the analysis. They said I was way out of the "normal" range and hit too many cows in the simulation! At that time, a good night's sleep was 4 hours and a bad night's sleep was anywhere from 20 minutes to 4 hours. That qualifies for insomniac status.

Mitch told me he thought I had the gift of prophecy to which I said, "No, I don't think so." Prophets I thought have long beards, carry a staff, wear a robe, and make proclamations from mountain tops. No, don't want a beard and as far as acquiring a staff, ebay might be a source. That same week in the School of Listening Prayer, Pastor Richard talked about prophecy and it mirrored what Mitch said. I talked with Deb after class and also met with Pastor Richard and after those conversations I thought, "Hmmm, it's possible." So I talked to another source: God. "God, I would like to have this gift and if you want me to have this gift then I need my dreams back." Since I don't get deep REM sleep, I don't dream. Shortly after that, I began getting deeper sleep. My dreams are back.

I see words in my dreams. Go figure that God would speak to a journaler, reader, and writer in words. Sometimes words appear like a slide show. They'll wave or flash across my vision. Sometimes I'm reading a book and I can actually read the words in the book in my dream.

Last night I dreamed the words were inscribed at the top of a building. The building was a large, square, sandstone, temple-like structure. There were no windows on the outside. I stood in front of it and at the top of the building the inscribed words were: Honor Patience Obey. In that order. Patience loomed larger in the middle.

Patience is a word that kept coming up during my fast last week. Honor and Obey. Could be honor my parents, obey God...but all 3 of them in relation to each other? In order? I'm still unpacking this one. If you have a prophecy or an idea about these 3 words, post here or e-mail me at seizethej@gmail.com. Yikes!

Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph's character. Psalm 105:19

Until then...
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"May I return to the beginning
The light is dimming, and the dream is too
The world and I, we are still waiting
Still hesitating...
Any dream will do."

*Lyrics by Tim Rice

Brotha' Can You Spare a Dime?

Jan. 24, 2008

It is -10 degrees outside with a wind chill of -25 (that's the feel-like temperature for you in the South). Today I wore long underwear, pants, turtleneck sweater, 2 pairs of socks, warm hiking boots, a hooded fleece sweatshirt, scarf, long wool dress coat, Turtle Fur ski headband, and Polar Tec mittens. All this for my 2-1/2 block walk to the bus stop. Hopefully the bus would be on time and I'd have less than a 5 minute wait. I was cold anyway.

How comfortable are you? What's the indoor feel-like temperature where you are?

I saw my 1st homeless people in Denver 20 some years ago. I was on the 1 hour-3-transfers bus ride to my job at a collection agency (I lasted less than 3 weeks!) The bus went across a bridge north of downtown, what was then the old rail yards and stock yards. It is now Coors Field, home of the Colorado Rockies. As the bus went across the bridge I looked down. There were 4 or 5 men hudd

led around a fire burning in a barrel.

How comfortable are you?

A few years ago some friends and I went on a street mission with our friend Della at Hope Ministries. It was mid September. After a brief tour of the kitchen, Rick told a little about the mission. Eggs are hard to come by at the mission and with fall approaching warm socks were needed. We rode in the back of the truck and dished out meals of macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, milk, bread, whatever we had and howe

ver long it lasted. I remember being at a tent camp near Gray's Lake. A prayer was always said before we left for the next stop. Two of the homeless argued over who would say the prayer. How Jesus must have chuckled. I remember one of the homeless women from the camp saying to a homeless man, "Jesus loves you." He replied, "Uh uh. No he don't." How sad he felt so worthless that no one can love him, not even Jesus. How Jesus must have wept.

How comfortable are you?

Two years ago I was in a God-forsaken-valley-of-a-job. I worked downtown and walked the skywalk between the company's 2 satellite offices. I was miserable as many of you know. One day a man that reminded me of Santa Claus with white hair and a beard walked by me in the skywalk. He smiled and said, "Hi." If ever I needed a smile--that day was it. A few weeks later he was outside one of the skywalk convenience stores. He told me the lottery was at $12 million. I laughed. A few weeks later I saw him again. It was then I realized he was homeless. The cans in the garbage bag was the tip off. I saw him many times when I worked downtown. I don't know his name--only that he gave me a gift on a day I needed one.

How comfortable are you?

Last spring Sue, Kathy, Trish, and I went along with Alan, Hope's Cookie Ministry director, to feed the homeless in Des Moines. Alan was a great guide around the city and we stopped at shelters,

ministries, and camps. He expertly warned us at one of the tent camps not to go in because of

the mean dogs. We could hear the dogs woofing it up at the edge of the trees. Dogs? No one told me there'd be dogs! Trish took the heart-felt photo at the top of this blog. Watch a short documentary of how the homeless live at Sue's You Tube video. Listen to their words of grace and need. See inside their hearts.

Sue loaned me a great book about being homeless--Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America by Mike Yankoski. I read it last year while in NY. The homeless there aren't as visible as you might think. Unless you have your eyes closed. My last day there I attended church that morning, bought some earrings at Macy's, and was on my way to Bryant Park for a hot dog. I saw the man sitting on the sidewalk with black garbage bags on his legs and newspapers braided around his arms. He desperately cried out, "Please help me." I know the warnings about giving money directly to the homeless. I walked past… The "least of these" scripture played in my brain. True New Yorkers always keep change on hand to give to the homeless. I could not walk away. I turned around, his hand still stretched out, his palm caked with dirt. Our eyes met. "Oh thank you, thank you, I'm so grateful," he said.

I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.

…Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

He will answer them, "I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me--you failed to do it to me." Matthew 25:41-45 (The Message)

How comfortable are you? What's your feel-like temperature now?

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(Photo copyrighted and courtesy of TLC Photography toma-lark@mchsi.com)

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

Probably.

I recently had a phone call from someone from my past that wanted to meet. It was weird. Probably the last time I spoke to this person was some 20 years ago in the middle of Kansas. I have not so fond memories of this person. Full of himself, every statement he made was how wonderful he was, he wasn't a particularly kind or considerate person. Why would I possibly need to meet this person?

After all, I'd completed 1-1/2 years of intense Christ Life class which included digging up my past and then saying goodbye to it all. I really had several reasons to believe that I didn't need or want to visit with this person.

I thought of every way I could to get out of it including using church as an excuse. I didn't get his phone number so there was no way to (un)graciously cancel. And not showing up entered my mind. I'd work out an "excuse" later, which means a lie. I was working so hard on trying to rationalize this with God. Nothing doing. I knew it wouldn't work. You know it doesn't work.

The day of the meeting I read in my Bible that God will use me for His purposes. I really didn't want to be used for His purposes with this person. Why me? Why not use someone else who is a much better example of You. I've already given you numerous ways I'm not good enough to be your message God.

Here is what I journaled: "So hey God, you're going to use me for your purpose. I should be very happy to do this for you. And most of the time when you send me out there, I'm in awe of what you're doing. But this time, I just don't care. I don't care what he has done for the past 25 years. Big whoop is all I've got to say. 'Talk 'til you're overflowing with how great you've been the last 25 years.' Big deal. I said goodbye and now you're asking me to go forth and be your message. I want to pass. Help me to be grateful."

During the drive there, I repeated, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I pulled into the parking lot of the trendy West Des Moines restaurant. I waited and I waited and I waited. No show.

Just wondering God. What was that?

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Need to get the lead out in 2008? Christ Life is a great class to do it. Lutheran Church of Hope's Christ Life class begins Jan. 21. To find out more about Christ Life, including affirmations and devotions, or to contact them about classes in your area, go to Christ Life Solution.

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J quote
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned in to rain...
Same Auld Lang Syne, Dan Fogelberg

Making a List, Checking It Twice

Tis the season for making lists, whether it's a Christmas wish list or a New Year's resolution list.

What was on your Santa wish list when you were 5? Look at old photos of yourself taken at Christmas. Do you remember the sounds, the smells, the wrapping paper, the goofy clothes, the anticipation? Wow to be 5 with the belief and trust of a child.

If you make a list now with that same belief and trust of a child, for we can ask our Father for anything, what is on the list? Is it something simple like a doll or a firetruck? Do I ask with all the details attached to it? Do I ask with the simplicity of a 5-year old or the complexity of a 40-something? And if I get it and it doesn't have all that I requested, will I be disappointed, will I want to return it, thinking my request is unanswered? Or do I receive exactly what I need?

Is it time to make a change in the New Year?

Last summer when I began working on this dream, I was challenged to write a list of 100 Things I Like To Do. I began thinking about the things I was doing and asked myself, “Do I like to do this? Is it list worthy?”

Here is part of the list:
go to concerts
laugh with my sister
look at nature
color in coloring books
meet a friend for coffee
have a small group discussion
look at View Master reels
write short story paragraphs
sit and be still and quiet
learn new software
be at the airport
watch a parade
take the longest route, even if it's slower
clean, if I'm in the mood
get hugs
go to the zoo
overhear conversation
swing at the park
watch traffic

When I looked over the list of all 100 things, I noted there were 2 things in the top 10 that I liked to do when I was younger that I was no longer doing -- singing and biking. Hmmm. Why not? So in the last 6 months I began singing in the choir and bought a bike and hit the bike trails. What a difference adding these 2 fun things back in my life has made. I feel 15 again (almost).

What is whispering in your ear to be rediscovered? Why did you give it up?

What's on your lists?

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J quote
I believe in a faith that's strong.
I believe in a hope that carries on.
I believe in these things and more.
Most of all, I believe in love.
Third Day

Were You There?

Random: Without definite aim, direction, rule, or method. Lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern.

Sometimes life feels like I'm doing it at random. But by going back through the archives of my journals, I have discovered that nothing is random at all.

6 years ago I walked into a church I'd never been to before (Lutheran Church of Hope.) I was there for a singles game night. I knew no one. At the church's welcome center was a brochure for a job-related seminar to take place in January 2002. The seminar was about achieving our dreams.

Were you there at that game night? It wasn't random.

At the seminar I sat towards the back of the sanctuary. And in the front of the sanctuary was a man in a black turtleneck talking about our dreams in life. This guy was filled with fire! I remember thinking, "I want to be like that." No I didn't at all want to be up front speaking but I wanted that fire, that spirit, that purpose.

Were you there at that seminar? It wasn't random.

Here is my journal entry shortly after attending: Jan. 26, 2002: "Thinking about dream seminar. Thinking have I been looking in the wrong direction? Is it not writing but is it reading, proofreading, or reading manuscripts or submissions? Or journaling workshop? All I can do is pray for Him that it be revealed and that I see the steps and signs. I will listen to what I read in the Bible and hear in sermons. I am a little afraid. But maybe it's nothing to do with reading or writing but making friends and having meaningful relationships in my life. Dream Big."

See that not so random phrase about journaling workshop? I was in the darkness of anxiety and depression. I had no friends or meaningful relationships. For me to even have a small desire was a Big Dream. Too big for me to comprehend.

In August 2003 I received an e-mail from someone in that singles group about attending Alpha.

Did you send the e-mail? It wasn't random.

I went to Alpha and at the retreat (wait a holy minute!) the "black turtleneck man" from the dream seminar, and his wife, were in the row in front of me.

Were you there at the Alpha retreat in the fall of 2003? It wasn't random.

I attended the Dream Giver series at Lutheran Church of Hope. I had no dream. But God does.

Were you there? It wasn't random.

This past spring I read Dream Giver again. The next week I received a "random" e-mail from Mitch and Melissa, yep that would be black turtleneck man and his wife from Alpha. The e-mail was about a Big Dream Gathering taking place in Des Moines.

I went. I grabbed 3 orange Big Dream Gathering sheets of paper and wrote down 2 dreams, 1 related to my job and 1 related to traveling to NY. There was 1 remaining blank orange sheet in my hand...unfulfilled. Later this dream was posted on the wall with the hundreds of other dreams:

Were you at the Big Dream Gathering? It wasn't random.

A journaling workshop? Connecting people to God through journaling? Dreaming Big? That is not random.

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J quote
That you are here -- that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass